Category Archives: Recipes

Cauliflower is better than rice

Hear me out. Rice is dumb. It takes a long time to cook, has to be heavily seasoned to taste like anything and can easily turn into mush.* I also think of it as a “nothing” food similar to pasta — it’s taking up a lot of space in my belly without bringing a lot of flavor or nutrients. I mean, I’m not best friends with cauliflower or anything, it also doesn’t have a lot of natural flavor (it’s no beet if you know what I mean) but it only took 5 minutes to cook and served the same purpose as rice underneath this sugar and soy-free beef and broccoli dish we had last night.

I’d make cauliflower like this again. The beef? Maybe. Fur sure once I can add brown sugar and soy to it. It was fine. I think I cut it the wrong way and cooked it a little too long, and everyone knows cooking beef past medium rare is letting the terrorists win.

I loosely followed this recipe. Maybe if I’d had less hubris and followed it more closely, the meat would have been more tender? Flavors were there, don’t get me wrong — I know how to make food taste good. Once again, it’s salt, people — the answer is salt.

Cauliflower is just finely chopped, sautéed in a pan with olive oil, garlic and ginger and spct (salt, peppie, cumin, turmeric — my classic four) cook over medium 5-8m. Looking forward to trying this caulirice with curry next week. Stay tuned.

*Real talk — I’m just bad at cooking rice.


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Raw fish and me? We’re married.

Truth is, I’ve never met a raw fish I didn’t like. Sushi, sashimi, ceviche, oysters, nom nom nom. But because I don’t have a professional fisherperson in my friend group (a position for which I am accepting applications by the way) the only dish I feel confident making at home is ceviche. I tell myself it’s safer from a tummy perspective because the fish “cooks” in the citrus but I honestly don’t have any evidence to back up that claim. It’s never made me sick, so that’s an n of 1 — but whatever, I’m the boss. I’ve also made ceviche before and know that it meets all the Whole 30 requirements so I will probably make it once a week at minimum just so I have something to look forward to. My life is V exciting.

Normally I make it with soy sauce and pickled ginger but those are no-no’s, so this recipe has a bit more apple cider vinegar, a touch of sesame oil and fresh ginger. I also added mango for sweetness — will be continuing that in the future. Also in my plans for eating more mango will be learning how to cut mango.


1. Chop or thinly slice: shallot, jalapeño, onion, mint and/or cilantro

2. Cut into cubes: cucumber, avocado, mango

3. Mix above items in bowl with apple cider vinegar

4. Take skin off salmon (just pull it off, much easier than you think) and cut into cubes

5. Put salmon cubes into separate bowl with lemon and/or lime juice, apple cider vinegar, and finely chopped ginger (normally I would also use soy sauce here, but instead I added a few drops of sesame oil). I also like to add wasabi, but found tonight that this really works much better with the soy sauce.

6. Salmon should be completely covered by the liquid — sit in fridge to “cook” for 10 minutes.

7, In the meantime, I like to crisp up the salmon skin on the stove for a little crunch, if that’s not your thing, maybe add some tortilla chips into the mix? Your call.

8. I put my ceviche over greens, tonight it was kale. Add salt. Then add some more. If your food tastes bleh, 87% of the time it’s because you didn’t season it correctly. Spices are everything.

Jared thought this ceviche was really good, I missed the soy quite a bit. He also wanted to add asparagus (to this and literally everything else we make) so I’ll be carrying on as captain of this ship for now. 3 days down. 20 to go. Math is hard.

Yes, we put kombucha into wine glasses. Cause we classy AF.


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Day 2: Attempting Positivity

After reading my first two Whole 30 entries, Jared furrowed his brow and mused, “You’re going to be like this all month then?”

I can’t imagine to what he could have been referring; I’m an extremely sunny individual. With that said, I’ve decided all on my own to approach Day 2 from a more proactive stance. In pursuit of that goal, I decided to make a proper lunch for myself rather than graze on garbage snacks all day.

Since my go-to treats, cheese plate and trail mix, are verboten, I have employed the most powerful tool available to me: vinegar. If it stands still, I will be pickling it — this week it’s cucumbers, onion and beets. Next week — the world!

Not sure if it’s my new attitude or my heavy hand with the seasoning but this salad was tasty. I’d say I didn’t even miss the bleu cheese, but no one would believe me because it would be total bullshit — I always miss the bleu cheese. It could be ice cream and I’d miss the bleu cheese. Still, a solidly delicious lunch. I’m amazing. But vinegar is the real star here.

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Whole 30 – Day 1

Turkey and mushroom stuffed bell peppers.

They were fine.


Heat oven to 425 degrees

Cook the following on the stove in a skillet with olive oil:

1/2lb Ground Turkey

1/2 cup mushrooms; chopped

1 shallot; chopped

4 cloves of garlic; chopped

1/2 onion; chopped

1 jalapeño; chopped

Then stuff into the following:

2 Bell Peppers; halved

Finally cook in oven for 10-15min. Top with guacamole and salsa or not, it couldn’t possibly matter less. It will still be fine. Salad optional, but you should eat it.

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Whole 30

Or as I like to call it, wholly bullshit. Any diet that allows bacon and mayonnaise but prohibits whole grains and greek yogurt is a not rooted in any principles of healthy eating. With that said, as part of his never ending quest for self-denial, my partner has recruited me as accountability buddy and culinary architect for his next personal Everest: the Whole 30 Challenge.

As if we weren’t basic enough, we will now be spending the next month living an existence devoid of sugar, grains, dairy and alcohol. What I think I’ll miss most is my personality, as I’m sure to become someone who talks about how much better I feel now that I’m off sugar. The truth is, I’ve never really been on sugar and I already eat healthier than most people I know, but if it makes his heart sing, I’ll spend a month cooking fun new recipes and pretending I don’t miss beer. What’s better is I can blog about it, thus ensuring everyone I know is subject to the nonsensical ramblings of someone who hasn’t eaten cheese for weeks. You’re welcome in advance.

Because this journey doesn’t begin until tomorrow, I did what any reasonable 30 year old woman would do — I ate cookies and pizza for breakfast and a cheese plate for lunch. Then I took to Pinterest for inspiration and created a 30 day menu. I will post the results here for as many days as it takes for me to hate life, after which I will likely not bother. The best part of doing this now is that afterward, we’ll never have to talk about it again. I expect to experience nothing earth shattering and for it to be basically fine. So, stay tuned — it should be an aggressively mediocre month.


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Mac and Cheese Steak

It’s exactly what it sounds like.

My person has been going on for weeks about how incredible a cheesesteak made with mac and cheese instead of cheese sauce would be. This week, I gave in…

First, I marinated the steak in olive oil, balsamic, a little soy sauce, garlic, and SPCC (salt, pepper, cumin, cayenne, otherwise known as the names of my future children). I used skirt steak and there is some debate about how long to let this particular cut of meat marinate for. If you have an opinion on this, please share in the comments!

Then, while the steak was a-marinating, I started the cheese sauce. I will be honest, this turned out a little strange, so if anyone has a better method, I’d be thrilled to hear of it. I started by sautéing some garlic, onions and jalapeños.

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Then I added equal parts butter and flour until I got a ‘lil rue going. Finally, once the rue turned brown, I started adding the milk and the cheese. I used a mixture of cheddar, fontina and gruyere cheeses — again, if anyone has better cheeses for mac and cheese, I am enthusiastically accepting suggestions 🙂

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The sauce was creamy and it tasted good, but the consistency was a little thin, that’s all. Perhaps I should have simply used less milk, but I managed by just adding more cheese. In the end, I had way too much cheese sauce, but who’s complaining?
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After I added my whole wheat elbows, which I recognize is a little like adding lettuce to a double cheese burger, but we all carry our little delusions. So, after I made this a healthy meal through the addition of whole wheat pasta, it was time to get that skillet hot and ready for the steak. mac and cheese steak, recipe, skirt steak recipe, mac and cheese recipe, homemade mac and cheese, comfort food

Since skirt steak is not a thick cut of meat, a searing-hot pan is paramount. Once that baby’s practically smoking, slam that steak down and hear that devilishly good hiss. …. Do you hear it? If not, next time the pan needs to be hotter. I only cooked this for two minutes on each side and then I let it rest for 10 minutes. Then I sliced it as thin as my knife would slice and it looked like this:
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If you like your meat cooked more than that, leave it on another minute or two. Then, after toasting the hero, I assembled this heart attack of a sammie: mac and cheese steak, recipe, skirt steak recipe, mac and cheese recipe, homemade mac and cheese, comfort foodAnd I saw that it was good.

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Veggie Chili & Jalapeño Cornbread

A few weeks ago, it was still winter in NYC so I wanted to make a warm-me-up meal and what does that better than chili? I decided to make a vegetarian 3 bean with black beans, chickpeas and kidney beans. For a little something extra, I decided to try my hand at some home made jalapeno corn bread. But first, the chili:
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This is a lot of chopping, but I’m into that sort of thing. Here’s what’s in this skillet:

1 red bell pepper, 1 poblano pepper, 1 long hot pepper, 1 jalapeno, 1 purple onion, 5 cloves garlic, the aforementioned beans, cilantro, chili powder, onion powder, garlic powder and the holy quadrinity: salt, pepper, cumin, cayenne.

I used to tell myself that I would cook more if only I had the proper cooking equipment. As you can see, by virtue of the fact that I gleefully make my chili in a skillet on the stove, that I have thrown that nonsense to the wind. It doesn’t take fancy equipment to cook great meals, it just takes a little creativity. For example, I had run out of foil on this particular day and, since it was freezing out, instead of getting more, I did this:

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And guess what? It flippin’ worked just fine. I let the chili simmer, covered, for 6 hours. It’s pretty good after 4 hours, but the longer, the better so since I had the time I decided to keep it on until it looked like this:

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This recipe was created in my brain thanks to a few other recipes. I started with 2 cups yellow corn meal, 1/2 teaspoon baking powder, 1 cup buttermilk, 1 egg and 1 stick of butter. Here’s where it gets controversial: there are at least two schools of thought on corn bread. One is sugar, one is no sugar. I heard Emeril Lagasse makes his with no sugar, so since I’m a sheep, I made this with no sugar. But yes salt, add some salt!veggie chili, chili, cornbread, jalapeno cornbread, vegetarian, vegan, recipe

This batter stays a little clumpy, so don’t over mix it, just do a medium-mixing job and pour it into a greased pan. I sprinkled the jalapenos on top here so that the didn’t all sink to the bottom of the pan during baking:

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Pop that bad boy into a 375 degree oven for about 40 minutes or until it can pass a toothpick test, whichever comes first. I’m not going to lie, but I am going to brag: this cornbread was pretty good for a first timer (I guess I need to work on my bragging skills). veggie chili, chili, cornbread, jalapeno cornbread, vegetarian, vegan, recipe

I have to admit, however, that I think it would have been better with some sugar. Sorry, Emeril.  veggie chili, chili, cornbread, jalapeno cornbread, vegetarian, vegan, recipeTop that shiz with some fresh onions, cheese and avocado and that’s what I call a warm-me-up meal. POP POP.



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